Oh my goodness! I don’t know why I continue to be shocked by the big feelings on the first day of school, but here I am once again, sitting at my desk with dried tears on my cheeks and a swirl of emotions in my chest.
For the last two weeks, I’ve been solely focused on supporting and building Connor up to get her ready for second grade. In between chaperoning playdates and adventures with her girl gang, there’ve been a few “I don’t want to go back to school” moments, with lots of tears and hugs.
The past few days have been spent preparing, planning and trying to get her braced for the first day. We’ve packed bags, talked about things to look forward to, planned outfits — I’ve always believed that if you’re anxious about a transition that it always helps to prepare as much as you can, so that’s what we did.
When El Hub and I walked her to her classroom this morning, she was in good spirits — a little nervous but still cheerful. After she dropped off her backpack and said hi to her teacher, she walked into the classroom without looking back. No tears at all, which was great!
Once we walked away from the classroom, though, I cried, which I did not expect at all. You know that friend you have who is fine until she’s not? That’s me, LOL!
It’s the intensity of the feelings that shock me. What I know deep down is that one day she really won’t need me; she’ll walk through a door and won’t look back, and even though logically I know that’ll be a good thing, part of me is having a hard time accepting it.
So, I try to joyfully be present for the brief time I have with her. One of the strange blessings that comes with having a child in your 40s is that you become so acutely aware of the passing of time. I know how quickly these years will pass. In the blink of an eye 10 years will fly by and she’ll be going into her senior year of high school. Craziness!
Anyway, before I start crying again, on a somewhat random beauty-related note, this was the first year El Hub has been able to be home for the first day of school, so I had all these plans to put makeup on this morning so he could take a “proof of mom” picture of me and Connor.
I ended up only having time to do my hair and put on tinted sunscreen, so my dreams of looking at least semi-decent did not happen, LOL!
I’m going to Ulta and Sephora to buy a present for a friend and to do some browsing to cheer myself up. If there’s anything you’ve found lately that you’ve been really into, let me know. I could use the distraction.
Send a virtual hug this way, will ya?
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
